This is the corrections I need for this document, you can see the requirements and could be contrast the document and the requirements. So, you need to follow this corrections for edit the document
hi i just quickly read through the essay and there are a few points i need edit about
– cuz im in an art school and im a photography major, i hope there is less explaination about what is photography (for example in the abstract) instead of talking about what is photography i hope it can focus more on the thinking?
– and I hope there is more analysis about the photo and whats in the photo and connect to the idea (for example for the first image with the lady, we can say that i chose this image because Vivian Maier likes to take photo of people but a lot of times she doesn’t want to get noticed by the people that she is taking photos of, therefore some of her street photography came out very natural
– and i hope there is less about David Hockey, since this essay is mainly about vivian maier, so i hope there is less Hockey and more about vivian (her identity as nanny, as female artist, her experience) and also for the conclusion, i hope it can be about the thesis that i think vivian maier enjoys the action of taking photo instead of getting comments or compliments from the public.
im sorry its quite a lot
just like expend more about vivian maier, expend more about the photos you chose why you chose it and link it to the idea if it can, and more about the thesis:))
1 hour ago